Category Archives: Ceremonies

Closure After the Death of a Pet

Posted by Sephira in Ceremonies, Misc, Paganism, Reader Question, Spellwork and tagged with , , , , , ,

I am in need of some guidance. My family friends mini horse died of old age last night, in our care. Is there a ritual I can perform for her? I feel responsible for her, even after her passing, and I would like to give everyone including her, some closure. I just have a feeling that it’s something that I have to do, but I would like to do it properly.

Sorry to hear about your friend’s mini horse.

Are your friends Pagan as well? If not, you should probably ask them first if they are ok with you performing a Pagan ritual for their horse. Actually, even if they are Pagan, it’s still better to ask first. Other than that, there are plenty of funeral/passing rituals that can be found online that you can adapt to use for your friend’s mini horse, but there really isn’t any sort of “proper” way, as everyone tends to grieve differently. Individual groups may have their own ways of honoring such passages, but without knowing which groups might be of interest, it’s hard to point you in any particular direction.

In looking online, if you can’t find any that suit you, consider creating something on your own, that comes from your heart. It doesn’t have to be overly complicated or have lots of bells and whistles. Even just a simple – “we are gathered here today to honor…” is absolutely fine. Especially when someone is grieving, simple is better. Anything else (especially full-on rituals) can easily become too overwhelming for the very people you are trying to comfort.

Personally, sitting around sharing food and drink, and telling stories about our favorite memories of the one who has passed (human or pet) has always been one of my favorite ways of honoring the dead. It’s also something that anyone can do, regardless of their religion. You could also have everyone bring pictures and/or other small objects that remind them of their pet, and create a collage/piece of art as a keepsake. This can be magical as well (if you want it to be) as you can charge the picture/art with energy, with the intention that it keep their pet’s memories alive. Example: hold the picture/object and visualize a particular moment that you always want to remember and allow the energy of how you are feeling to flow into the picture/object. As you add other pieces to the collage, you are storing that energy to help cheer you up for whenever you feel sad because you miss them.

Losing a pet, especially one that you’ve helped care for his always hard. Just being there for those who are grieving, is sometimes one of the best things we can do, even if it doesn’t seem like enough. But if you feel called to do more, and the family is open to it, then you do what feels right.

Wedding Location: Does It Matter?

Posted by Sephira in Ceremonies, Reader Question and tagged with , , , ,

I live in a rural town and was married at my property. Would it be advised to get remarried (to a different woman) at the same location? My first marriage was tumultuous and failed. I have met my soulmate and am divided between starting fresh with my soulmate at the place we will call home and the fact that I was already married at the same location. Please advise.

Honestly, this could really go either way…

On the one hand, you are looking at having to compete with memories of your previous marriage. Which, to be sure, you’ll have to deal with anyways – but when you literally start off in exactly the same place, there are bound to be those who automatically assume it will end up going the same route the first one did. Additionally, if there are any residual hard feelings related to your previous marriage, going through the ceremony in the same place can cause those feelings to bubble to the surface during the wedding and could cause your day to be less than perfect.

Conversely, making awesome new memories literally right on top of the old ones, can help to fully chase out any lingering “ghosts of the past” that might be hanging around. Having your and your new wife, stake your claim – this is ours now – can really help to set the tone for your new life together.  So, especially if you are going to be living in the same house that you previously lived in during your first marriage, this might not be a totally bad idea.

Personally though, I wouldn’t do it, as it seems like there would be too much “baggage” associated with it. From a more objective perspective however, it could potentially work out. A lot too depends on what sort of other options you have available. If it’s a budget issue, then just doing your best to make this wedding as different as possible from the other one, even if it’s being held in the same place, may be enough. Suggest as well (if you are into that sort of thing), that doing some heavy-duty cleansing rituals beforehand might also be a good idea. Just to banish any lingering negative energies that might hanging around, that way you can start fresh.

I think the really big question to ask however, would be to your wife-to-be… how does she feel about it? This is her day too, and if she doesn’t feel comfortable having the wedding in the same place, then that needs to be a serious consideration when making your choice.

Reversing a Soul Binding

Posted by Sephira in Ceremonies, Paganism, Reader Question, Spellwork and tagged with , , , , ,

I have a difficult situation.  My ex who is Wiccan was showing me various types of rituals and spells throughout our relationship.  One of which was a “soul binding” spell which was intermixed with a handfasting.  He explained it in brief to me and I was open to learning more about his religion, but after our relationship ended on what he would consider a rocky note, odd things have been occuring.  Now I was raised Catholic and identify Christian but also have a strong base in spirituality, so I am not sure if I am just paranoid about the odd things happening or if it is real.  From what I understand, what he performed is not “breakable” and tied his and my soul together possibly for eternity.  Anyways, on to the weird things.  I thought that I was completely over him, but of recent I have been thinking about him frequently as well has having dreams about him and a strong desire to be with him (even though he supposedly moved across the country from me and has since disconnected his phone so there is no way that I or even his family (from what I know) can get a hold of him).  I talked to him just before he left nearly two months ago, he was wishy washy about wanting to stop by and say goodbye, which he didn’t do and left the last conversation saying “I have too much to do” and hung up.  He did say that he can never be around me again because he “doesn’t trust himself” around me (as to not wanting more physically or emotionally) and had said that he was going to come back in a few years after he got done with this education program he apparently enrolled in and wanted me and my children to uproot and move with him where ever he was (NOT going to happen).  I’ve known him since we were young kids and am close to his family, so this is especially hard to have him completely shut me out of his life, but up until recently I was just fine with it and had moved on.

 A friend of mine who is Wiccian confirmed everything he had told me in reguards to this soul binding, but explained further that you cannot undo it and that you will forever be tied to that person, feel what they feel, have a part of them tied into you forever.  This frightens me because as I later found out he has some serious problems mentally/emotionally.  I just want this to go away.  Is there anything I can do?

Something to keep in mind – if the two of you have known each other for most of your lives, and were close for a good bit of that time, as friends and then later romantically, it is very natural (and normal) for you to think about him – even if it seems random or out of the blue. When we have known someone for such a long period of time, odds are you will continue to “love” them in a way, even if you are no longer “in love with them” , or even want to have any type of relationship with them. The fact is that they have been there through a large part of your life, and that doesn’t just go away just because you split up and one party has since moved far away, or lost contact. You will likely continue to think about him off and on for many years to come – regardless of any ritual that was performed.

As to said ritual… I’ll be honest, the person who came up with the idea of a “soul binding” ritual should be beat with a stick (at the very least). It sounds perfectly romantic when you are reveling in the joys of new lover bliss – the idea of being with the one you love for all eternity. But the actual fact of the matter, is that keeping any sort of committed relationship (marriage or otherwise) together for the long-term, even within one lifetime, is difficult at best and takes a lot of hard work. So the idea of binding oneself on an energetic level to someone else through multiple lifetimes, when the odds aren’t even in favor of you sticking it out in this one, is folly. Inevitably the bliss wears off, and you are stuck (in a manner of speaking) with this person that – even when you part from them for perfectly good reasons, in theory you are now potentially going to be miserable for the rest of this life, and into the next when you aren’t with them. So even if you meet someone else who is perfectly wonderful and compatible with you, because of this ritual you may always find yourself feeling as if a part of you is missing – when in reality (if you hadn’t done the ritual), you might have been truly happy. It’s worth noting too, that for him to do this sort of ritual with you, without properly explaining the consequences of doing such a thing, is pretty reprehensible.

I’m not even sure I’d consider a “soul binding” on my deathbed, even if I’d been deliriously happily married to the same person for 50+ years. While the idea is nice, it seems that if someone was truly meant to be my soulmate, then we would already be bound – so there is no need to manually force the issue. Even if we aren’t together in every lifetime, odds are we will meet up again and again throughout our incarnations. Besides the alternative is much worse – being stuck with someone who you have later determined is not “the one”. Potentially as well, just because we are happy in this life, doesn’t mean that there aren’t other happy opportunities to come in future ones with other people, and doing such a ritual, would change those coming experiences.

Having said all that, your best bet would be a parting ritual of sorts. It may not completely sever the ties, especially since you have no way for him to participate with you, but it should help to minimize some of the effects of the original ritual.

The following is a really simple and to the point “Parting Ways” ritual that you can do. Ideally you would want him to do the ritual with you, but as that’s not possible, if you have an item that represents him that should be fine. Also if you have a picture of the two of you together (that you don’t mind cutting up), that would be good as well – or any other symbol of the two of you together (that can be cut in half).

  •  Normally you would do an “ending” spell with the waning moon, however as this one is focused more on starting fresh, you could do it with either. Other than that it’s fairly simple – just say it like you mean it.

our paths diverged
new lives to start
what once was merged
here now must part
with blessings bright
we’ll start anew
the time is right
we know it’s true

  • While chanting the words, focus on the image or item that symbolizes the two of you being bound together – visualize each of you going your separate ways, and then physically cut the image/item in half – literally cutting the ties that bind you together. Chanting is a good way to raise energy, so if you want to you, can say the chant several times as you cut (helps to reinforce and gives added focus). Three times is always been a sort of magical number, or you can correspond it to the number of years the two of you were together (since you did the original ritual), whatever feels right. Once you are finished you can either bury the leftover pieces of the picture/item, or burn them – again whatever works best for you.

I also would suggest checking out this previous post on Dissolving a Handfasting, which while not quite the same situation, there are some correlations, and the information and example rituals there might be useful to you.