Tag Archives: relationships

Love Spells for the Inexperienced

Posted by Sephira in Reader Question, Spellwork, Witchcraft and tagged with , , , , , , ,

I’m just starting and have a issues with my love life can I do a easy spell without any idea or experience to help stop us from arguing so much over stupid things or how can I get help.

The short answer: No. It’s really not a good idea to A) mess around with love spells, and B) mess around with magic when you don’t have any sort of idea of what you are doing.

The longer answer still involves avoiding “love” spells. Experienced or not, they aren’t for the faint of heart and the potential negatives far outweigh any positives of doing them. In general though, you should look to mundane ways of fixing relationship issues, and in truth, “mundane before magical” applies to pretty much any issue. Magic should be, if not a last resort, at least a “well I’ve tried other ways and they aren’t working” resort. But keep in mind, no one wants to be magically forced to stay in a relationship they aren’t happy in. 

If you are having communication issues, then you need to sit down with your partner and calmly try to figure out why. What are you arguing about? Why do those things cause you to argue and what are some ways that you can better talk about them, without those conversations devolving into arguments? A few articles that might help give you some insight on how to stop arguing (or at least not argue as frequently, as no couple goes through life without some arguing – it’s human nature) – Stop Arguing Your Relationships to Death and How to Stop Arguing and Actually Solve Your Relationship Problems.

If you are having trouble even sitting down to talk about the root cause of the arguing, then it might be appropriate to look into spells that help to facilitate communication. Though again, if you don’t normally practice magic (or haven’t studied anything about it), it’s still not a great idea to just randomly do a spell. Magic is not a quick/easy fix and any solution (magical or mundane) will still require effort on both your parts. And, honestly, if the two of you can’t sit down and talk without getting into an argument, then it may be that the relationship isn’t meant to last. Constant arguing, particularly over stupid or unimportant things, often means that one (or both) parties are unhappy with something. You need to work together to figure out what that is and then take steps to try fixing it.  

Wiccan Rede: An It Harm None

Posted by Sephira in Paganism, Reader Question, Wicca and tagged with , , , , , , ,

I am dating a man who is Wiccan…we are having a very serious disagreement about a spider!  I respect his Wiccan views and beliefs…but I cannot understand his logic regarding this topic.  I am terrified of spiders…it is irrational and logically I know its silly.  However, I cannot control that fear and it truly causes me serious distress.  He has a very large spider living above his front door.  Initially he wanted to bring it inside, but has agreed not to now.  I asked him to relocate the spider because he does not believe in killing them.  His response was no…it would cause the spider harm…and he believes in the first do no harm principle.  Its his belief relocating the spider will directly cause it harm.  Isn’t leaving the spider there causing me harm?  It causes me to have heart palpitations, extreme anxiety, and I cry!  Again, I know my fear is unsubstantiated, but it is real!  I feel he is completely disregarding my feelings and well being by not relocating it…but all he says is do no harm is in his blood and who he is!  Any advice?

I’ll start with straight and to the point. If your boyfriend cares more about potential harm to a spider, than he does about the woman he supposedly loves, then you need to RUN (not walk) to the nearest exit. Dump him.

Regardless of the actual meaning of the Rede itself (which I’ll get to in a moment), there are plenty of ways to humanely move a spider. There is absolutely zero reason for him to put that spider’s well-being above your own – A) because it can be moved without harming it and B) because even if it would cause harm… your life (and physical/mental health) should be a priority to him. If it’s not, then there is something seriously wrong. If he is not willing to put you first in these sorts of situations, he’s not worth your time or energy.

As to “do no harm” – at no point (ever), does the Wiccan Rede prohibit one from causing harm, and in fact, it is literally impossible to go through life without causing harm to someone or something. The Rede, which in full states ‘An it harm none, do what ye will, simply tells us that if it doesn’t cause harm, we can do whatever we want. But nowhere in that statement does it say if it causes harm, don’t do it. The point of it all, is for one to carefully consider their actions before taking them, and to be willing to accept the potential consequences of such actions – for good or bad. In the end however, if one feels that a harmful action is justified, and is willing to accept the consequences, then there is nothing preventing them from taking the action. For more information on the history and meaning of the Wiccan Rede, I suggest reading The Wiccan Rede: A Historical Journey.

It’s unfortunate that there are books and websites which offer misinformation regarding the Rede, which in turn cause people to end up believing that it is a literal prohibition against causing harm. But again as I mentioned to start, if your boyfriend is unwilling (or unable) to see that the harm he is causing to you is more detrimental than the harm moving the spider would cause, then he’s really not someone that you need in your life. It may sound harsh, but this is just a spider (and very easily remedied in a way that could make you both happy, which he is refusing to even consider)… what happens when it’s something more important?

On the Nature of Magic & Change: Fixing a Broken Spell

Posted by Sephira in Reader Question, Spellwork, Witchcraft and tagged with , , , , , , , ,

I’m trying to figure out how to fix a broken pendant spell. But so far I haven’t found much luck on finding anything that could help me. I desperately want it fixed because it means a lot to someone I care about dearly,but don’t know how to fix it. PLEASE HELP!!!

How is it broken exactly, or what exactly needs fixing?

Magic isn’t like Harry Potter… we don’t wave a wand while saying “reparo” and suddenly make it all better. So if it’s a chain, or other physical part of the pendant that is broken, the only way to fix it would be to take it to a reputable jeweler and see if they have someone on staff that does metal working and/or jewelry repair. Other options would be if you know anyone who does jewelry making that is proficient in wire wrapping or, at the very least, has the tools/supplies to fix the chain (if that is indeed what it is).

Outside of physical aspects, without knowing how it’s broken (in a magical sense), it’s nearly impossible to direct you to the right spell (assuming that such exists). Of course in most cases it’s better to write your own anyways, but sometimes it’s nice to be able to see what others have written to use a guideline if it’s something that is unfamiliar to you.

Some sort of general things that you can try are cleansing and recharging if it’s a matter of the pendant not seeming to hold the same properties that it once had, but again without knowing specifics it’s really hard to give any sort of really concrete, advice.

The charm’s spell was based off of the first time my significant other and I gave ourselves to each other physically. But once we briefly broke up,the spell was broken when I gave myself to another. I’m sorry if this is tmi but I desperately want to fix it now that I’m back with my ex. Nobody else has been willing to help or I couldn’t find anything to help. Please keep in mind that I only would like to use white magic for this.

Unfortunately, there’s really not any way to fix it. The energy the original magic was fueled by has changed, as the nature of your relationship has changed. Typically the way to fix something like that is to recharge it, but there’s not a way to get a “first time” back. So there is not a way to recharge that specific energy.

Having said that though – if you broke up, but are now back together, you can still recharge it in a similar ritual. The key being, to base it on the renewed relationship and the stronger bonds that you have formed by going through some rough waters, and overcoming those challenges to renew your love, despite it all. There is powerful magic in that as well, and it signifies the changes you both have been through (apart and then together again).

It won’t be the same as it was (as with life, there are just some things that we simply can’t get back once they are gone), but it doesn’t mean that what we are left with can’t be as sacred or as meaningful. Life is a fluid thing, it moves and changes, twists and turns, even when we may not want it to (and in ways we may not want it to). When it does, sometimes we just have to make the best of what we are given.

Your relationship is not the same as it was, and never will be – nor will the magic of the pendant, but that doesn’t make what you have now any less than it was, only different. It’s time to make some new magic. 😉